We were at Kirk's ten year high school reunion this weekend and one of our friends came up to me and said this, "Your blog makes me glad I don't have kids," or something to that effect. At the time I wasn't offended in the slightest and even joked about it because let's face it...Mommyhood is hard and not for the faint hearted. But the more I have thought about it the more I have wished that I would have come up with a snappy little reply, however even now I have trouble coming up with what that reply would be...suggestions?
I have a really hard time understanding why people wouldn't want to experience this most difficult and rewarding of life experiences. Yes, it is hard. Yes, it requires HUGE amounts of sacrifice and selflessness. Yes, sometimes I want to lock myself in the bathroom and scream and/or cry. But yes, I absolutely LOVE it and wouldn't trade the hard parts for anything because that is what makes me strong and that is what makes the great times truly great. How great is it to look at a child and think 'there is a part of me in that little person'. And how great is it to think 'I can have some influence in the kind of person this little person will be'. How awesome to have such an awesome responsibility!
I guess the part that bothers me the most about this encounter is that when I was talking to her I found myself belittling myself and my job and I walked away from the conversation feeling small. I am not small...my job is important. I am not "just a stay at home mom." I have real value and I am making a REAL difference in this world. The reason it is great is BECAUSE it is hard, not despite it being hard.
15 comments:
thanks carin for reminding me why i am doing what i am doing
I too was at that reunion and felt that there were a few comments that were made that were not very tactful. I enjoy reading your blog. You and Kirk are an inspiration to me. You remind me that I'm not the only Mommy that wants to lock herself in her room sometimes. AND THAT IS ABSOLUTELY OK! Being a mom is THE BEST JOB EVER! You are doing a great job and should be very proud of who you are and the beautiful family that you have!
Rude Girl,"Your blog makes me glad I don't have kids.""
Carin: "Me too!" You're obviously not qualified.
I'm the worst at comebacks. I always think of them like 10 minutes too late. I'm with you. I don't envy the people who have put off having kids. I'm glad I am a mom. It's worth it.
Question: If she said she read your blog, will she be reading this post?
She probably will read this post. It's ok...it's no secret that I like being Mom.
I think sometimes people say stuff like that when in reality its all they really want and maybe "she" is the one that doesn't feel qualified to do the job you are. For sure there are days that it would be a lot easier to have a 9-5 job but nothing pays us enough that the rewards of being a mother does. I like what you posted here and it makes me proud to be a mom and to have children! I don't think I ever would have known the real joys of being a MOTHER until I lost one and let me tell ya no other job in the world could ever bring me more joy or satisfaction. Ok now I am done... I am getting upset with the girl and it didn't even happen with me..lol Take care and you are an awesome example of what Motherhood should be!
AMEN!
THE OTHER DAY, A FRIEND AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT DEATH WHILE SERVING A MISSION. SHE SAID THAT IT WOULD ME AWESOME TO DIE WHILE YOU WERE ON YOUR MISSION, THEN YOU WOULD BE EXHAULTED FOR SURE. I THOUGH FOR A MIN, NORMALLY THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY RESPONSE TOO. THEN I RECALCULATED, WOULD I REALLY TRADE GETTING TO KNOW & TAKE CARE & LOVE MY FAMILY FOR EXHALTATION? ISN'T THAT WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD/OR ETERNITY.
Well said...
It's too bad that we can't express how much joy and happiness we receive from being a mom in a way that others feel like they want to experience it.
Just smile and be happy you will not experience the regrets that she will when she is older.
Hells yes girl!!!!! We momma's are da bomb!! Completely underappreciated by society, but definitely THE most important and influential "job" in society.
Actually I'm sure her remark was not meant to be hurtful. If it was then,,,I'm glad she doesn't have children either.
No, her comment wasn't intended to be hurtful. She actually called and apologized after reading the blog which was great. This is just something I feel strongly about I guess.
you go girlfriend...my little sis is gettin' fiery!
I think you're an AMAZING mom! In all reality, the poor girl probably made that comment to console herself, rather than as a reflection on you or mothers in general.
Carin, it's probably a good thing she didn't have any children. Some people only care about themselves and wouldn't make good parents anyway, so it's a blessing that she chose not to, knowing she couldn't handle it. OR, perhaps she couldn't have children and her comment was a cover-up for the hurt she has suffered. Who knows...all I know is I wouldn't trade the life Hal and I made for ourselves having four great kids. The hectic time I spent raising my family was the BEST time of my life and I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING! Enjoy your children...they grow up and are gone WAY too fast. Love your blog!
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