Ok...so I am in serious need of some blog therapy today so here we go. We have entered a stinkin hard stage with our little twin tornadoes...today I have been thinking...this is my life???....seriously? They are into EVERYTHING!!!!!! I just am feeling very done today and we are nowhere near bedtime...it's only 10:00!!! AAAHHHHH!!!! Let me explain what I think has led to this little breakdown of mine.
Sunday morning went like this:
-Kirk is basically at meetings from 7 until 10:30....so I have the lucky job of getting everyone ready for church all by myself
-Boys are sick AGAIN so no church for them (originally I thought this would help Sunday morning go more smoothly...wrong again)
-While getting Taylor ready for church the tornadoes manage to open the cereal cupboard and dump 2 full boxes of cereal all over the kitchen and front room...but this shouldn't bother me because they were only getting a snack right? (they even got themselves little bowls out to put their contraband treats in)
-They also emptied the hamper (for the umpeenth time)
-Also they got into the laptop bag and had the cords everywhere.
So that was Sunday morning before ten.
Today John climbed up on the kitchen table to play with the laptop while Bennett fell off the kitchen chair...after they pulled the fireplace screen over on themselves and threw balls and Taylor's doll in the fireplace. AAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!! I just feel very done. I get that they don't feel great and I get that they are only 19 months old and I get that they are boys and boys are different....but SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?!? I don't want to hear how one day I will miss this. I don't want to hear how cute and funny this is. I don't want to hear how before I know it they will be old and gone and I will be so sad. I just don't want to hear any of that because right now it's just too hard. I guarentee I won't miss this stage just like I don't miss spending all but maybe 3 hours of my day feeding babies.
This morning I felt it was just tooo much for me to handle. So I closed them in their bedroom and I can hear them making all sorts of ruckus but I just can't deal with it right now so here I type and there they cry.
I know that I have more things to be grateful for then I can even mention, I have a great husband who is home every night, we are all healthy for the most part, we are doing ok financially, we just spent a great day yesterday together on a hike, and on and on and really we are surviving just fine but today I just feel spent!!!! SERIOUSLY!!! I get that everyone has their days and things could be so much worse but I just want to be grumpy and ornery and complain for a second....I just need to get it out and then dig in again. I will be fine....life is good...life is good...life is good.
Last night while putting Taylor to bed I said, "Have good sleeps" and she said, "Mommy sometimes when I am sleeping, my baby wakes me up because she is crying for me so I might not sleep." And I said, "Taylor would you like me to take care of your baby tonight so you can sleep?" "Yes Mommy." I said, "being a mommy is sometimes hard isn't it." Taylor said, "it sure is." Holy cow it is! Well I'm going to go have a good cry and then I will be ready to go again and it is probably time to let the tornoadoes loose.
8 comments:
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!! I completely know everything you are feeling and I have some bad news as the mother of kids who are a little older than yours.....it doesn't get easier!!! It just gets different. Today Samantha was throwing a tantrum at 8.00am. That is just fun to wake up to!! I was planning to take them to the pool today....but since she threw a huge tantrum and he SLAPPED me across the face, their punishment is that we are not playing outside for the rest of the day. But honestly, who does this punish?? Yup, ME!!!! So, please take comfort in the fact that your cousin is going through a lot of the same crap as you! You are not alone! Aren't we grateful for sweet husbands? Kirk sounds like a champion and Andy is pretty great too. Lucky us! Hang in there!
Thanks Kristi...glad to know I'm not the only one who has these days...(well that sounded weird..you know what I mean)...good luck on your day indoors...I'll be thinking about ya today!
Oh honey! Hang in there! If ANYONE I know can do this, YOU CAN!! You are the best mommy I know!! Love you!!
have a bad day you deserve it!!
so sorry, hang in there, you're awesome
I am sorry that you had such a bad day yesterday. I hope today was better. I think we all have days like that, so know that you are not alone. You are a awesome mom!
So, I shall share one of my "not so proud moments" as a mom. I was yelling at Cameron the other day about pooping in his pants---(ok,,not fully pooping, but close enough for me). I am tired of the streaks and the smell etc etc. So I was yelling---really yelling and Cameron was trying to hold in the tears and he just said,,,mommy your face scares me when you yell like that...and your spitting all over me. Obviously I was more out of control than I thought if my face was contorting into some demonic shape and he was covered in droplets of spit.
Hey, don't feel guilty, just because life IS good, does NOT mean it's easy. I think you're amazing!!!
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